Tanx

The food was prepared for days, weeks ahead if you count the shopping. I don't have a car now and all those elements must be carried. Someday I hope to be thankful for a car again. I really miss my Little Truck, and the funds to get another one.

I hope to be thankful for hitting a lottery jackpot soon. A new place to live where I am not fighting for a turn in the bathroom in my old age would be great. Living is getting so expensive, and my funds are not stretching far enough.  

Normally I would be thankful for all my blog readers, but I have to settle to only having one, once in a blue moon. Better than none, but really is this worth the effort?  I am thankful to have a new laptop I can barely operate, wasting hours trying to do a simple thing like keying in text without it deciding to insert itself into the front of the sentence instead of completing the word I am doing. I don't know why it is doing that. 

Moving from Chrome on a Chromebook to Win10 on ThinkPad has made all I was doing obsolete. Truely, I detest Windows 10 OS! But hey, at least I have one! 

Decidedly I'm not as grateful as before. I need to find a new job, easier to get to even if paid less. The old one not only became psychologically unbearable, but I was out 12 to 14 hours per day only getting paid for 8 or fewer hours. What a big waste of time due to the bus situation through the pandemic on a Saturday schedule, even though only 5 miles away. To be there by 4pm leaving at 12:45pm, returning home via delivery truck about 2 am. I got too chronically fatigued to keep it up.

Sleep always suffered every time something else had to get done, each thing was a missed day of sleep while working nights. Town buses quit going to my section of town by 4 pm, so to shop on Day Off I still had to not sleep or miss the ride home.

No one at home will respect my sleep time, and I am punished even more with loud noise for disturbing them. Home has me hiding in my room so others do not ruin my mood for the day. I don't do things like other people, and they don't get it, that they are upsetting to me. Makes me not want to play guitar or draw pictures. Makes me grumpy and not inspired, only pissed off. 

I would like to get back to who I am, not so unhappy. Now during the turkey holiday, I went off my low carb, no gluten diet for a couple days, and suddenly feel terrible, having caught a cold, despite mostly wearing a mask all night. Dinner got done super late. Then the pies got put out and we got quickly stuffed, then went home about 11:30pm. I have felt exhausted ever since. Big sugar crash. 

No one ever got to say what they are grateful for, and my list is decidedly short. I am still alive, able to see and read again, and have a roof over my head. I got some food to take home, and will be okay for a little while. Everything else needs work... but is do-able. I have not lost hope...