People are the scariest monsters.
Almost Halloween time now, time for horror stories. Even real ones.
Sometimes I feel like I am living an episode of The Twilight Zone with Rod Sterling...
Funny, that show was born very close to when I was. But I am too paranoid to publicly give out my bday.
PTSD doesn't allow me to quickly react and process the way other people do. So here I am days later after a scary incident with a human monster, still slowly reacting and trying to get over it.
I have always been independent and self-sufficient, always trying to do things myself before ever mentioning I may need assistance. Always I have given things the old college try...
Sometimes I wish I had a "licensed to carry" gun, but yet I really don't ever want to shoot someone. This doesn't mean they don't deserve it.
The past year I have been working at a local Burger joint, doing kitchen related stuff for low pay. I tried being retired for a few months, until inflation sucked away all my savings, and I knew social security would never be enough to survive on.
Bad enough, there is a limit to how much I can earn because I am not 66 years old yet, or they take it back!
Until I am and the limit no longer applies, getting by on so little will be a huge challenge.
Last spring, this really big and tall dude named *X was hired where I work, and we did not hit it off. I kept trying to tell him the proper, corporate proceedures we were supposed to follow making food, he would not follow them. Finally he yelled at me not to speak at all to him. His problem, ok.
About a week later, he quit and went back to a convenience store he previously worked for after the managers were changed. I had applied there before the burger place, so I knew about that manager switch. I bet he had it out with the old manager, a woman.
More money per hour, plus weekly versus bi-weekly checks, won me over to the restaurant job. Plus, it is only one bus ride away, and I could work daytime and get there and home on the bus by myself. Until last Friday, anyway.
My maternal Grandmother had French ancestry, and was a petite 4' 10" tall. Out of everyone in my immediate family I managed to get the genetic recessive "short" genes. Usually I measure about 5' 1". Everyone else is taller.
Apparently this big, tall (6'2") dude I had worked with and attempted, unsuccessfully to train had an army background of some sort. He is big tall, loud, and intimidating to me. He was always observed to be chummy with guys, and not to females at work and on the bus.
Yes, he would take the same bus route as me, and lives in the residential development adjacent to mine.
Neither of us has a vehicle. There is a new apartment complex being built now right behind where I live. That means, he could cut through that new place, and be right here in very few minutes by foot.
I'm uncertain if he knows exactly where I live, I try not to be obvious to other bus passengers when I get out. I have been previously stalked many years ago, and abused, which has helped developed my PTSD problems.
Recently, I have developed very high blood pressure when stressed.
I had cataract surgery a few years ago, and my BP spiked to 230 over 160. Luckily, I didn't have a stroke.
Sometimes I feel that could happen when I can't react and get very stressed out. Other people are clueless to what they do to me sometimes. High BP definitely was a problem Friday, as I don't outwardly react to what is going on.
The workplace has had problems getting employees to work and close nights, so offered higher pay for that and being in management. The sign about it out front had "X" apply for and quickly get that position, about a week ago. After a few nights, other employees started with complaints about him already.
My shift was earlier than that, so outside of a few rides on the same bus, I had little interaction with "X".
I had tried to just be polite to him as he played best chums with the male driver.
At work, he left a big grease mess he was supposed to clean, being paid more. I refused to clean it, not my job. I am not maintenance. The mess stayed there all week-end, tying up other equipment needed for something else, according to the company rules. Everything there has a specific purpose, he used the wrong container.
When he returned after the week-end "X" still didn't clean it, and got in other trouble. He said a bunch of stuff to other workers, was seen cooking food incorrectly, and had other complaints from co-workers.
He had a meeting with the head manager, and I was told he quit when I got to work. I was also informed that during those "civil behavior" bus rides "X" said he had been giving me the finger to the other passengers the whole way. So much for my trying to be nice to him.
Learning he'd done that really steamed me. I was done being nice to him. WTH! So yay, I no longer needed to worry about working with him. Next day on the bus, the chummy driver guy said was I "looking forward to working with "X"?"
I honestly answered, " I don't have to, he quit!" And something about "X" probably not being on the bus for work later. Yes, I was happy not to have to see him at work. This convo with the bus guy came back to haunt me later.
Jump ahead a couple days and it is Friday, payday.
I'd wanted to attend a funeral for someone who lived here, but decided I could not afford to take off work. Also I needed my check money ASAP. I wish I had taken the day off, because I could have avoided running into "X" after work.
He had been there out front and gotten his paycheck when I was busy in the kitchen working. I was unaware he had been there. When I got out of work I hurried across the road and through the parking lots that lead to the bus stop.
I was two stores away down the plaza strip and could hear someone screaming and yelling near the buses. How I wish now I'd thought to get out my cellphone and record. I'd never expected what was going to happen.
As I got near the bus area, I realized it was "X", and he was screaming at me! In a rage-filled, fist shaking tirade he yelled something about (sic) how I had ran my mouth off and caused all his problems, it was all my fault, not to even dare get on the bus, and he was going to make me sorry, ect. And maybe some other stuff I have no clue about what it was.
All I responded back was , "But it's okay for you to give me the finger all the way on the bus," something I had learned because he had run his mouth off about me, that hypocrite!
I just know after that he was super loud, doing this in front of everyone at the market, and I was unaware if I did anything wrong against him.
1 minute to bus leaving time he was already in the bus, screaming on and on. I went to go in to put fare in the box, and he was right in front of me, blocking my way in, yelling loudly that I would be sorry if I got in this bus ...(and I already was sorry he was hurting my ears and giving me a head ache and horrible anxiety).
The bus driver made no move to help me in any way. Disagreeable to other passenger people are supposed to be kicked off the bus. There are signs posted in there about it. I felt so much pressure from that big, scary, loud, out of control man.
I could stand his noise no more. So I said, "You know what?" And I got off the bus. Then I called some people to tell them what happened, and the bus company about being threatened off the bus. Hopefully they have the video from that inside the bus part.
Then the bus left, giving mad "X" a ride and screwing me over.
Luckily on weekdays there is another company's bus that goes to my area, a half hour later, but then I have to walk further. Had it been Saturday, no other bus, I would be stuck 7 miles from home and have to walk in the dark.
So it wasted my free time, and really upset me. Now I feel super defensive and hyper-vigilant. Makes me not want to go on the bus again. When I get asked a direct question I am not going to lie. Why should I?
Why should a senior citizen woman have to worry about being attacked by crazy, enraged, large people on the bus and not get the ride?
What happened to "X's" job was totally his fault. There is more to it I could have told about...
I figure that the bus driver must have said something about that I had told him "X" quit, and that was what "running my mouth off" referred to.
I don't blame the driver for being afraid to kick "X" off the bus, he is much bigger than the driver. But the cops should have been summoned. The driver was on the last run for his day, the driver wanted to get finished. But yes, he screwed me over, and I won't forget it.
I hope "X" is banned from the bus and that plaza. If not, I may need to get a restraining order on him which I now have no money for.
I told the boss at work what this guy did. He just threw up his hands and said this is not the company's problem. He advised me to call the police. I know if I do that, I need to expect retaliation. I have been down this crazy, abusive path before. It is not my first rodeo.
...
Still processing...
I want to say to him:
How scary do you think you are?
How long has your hobby been scaring and threatening old ladies?
You are impeding my ability to get back and forth from work, to pay rent, and survive.
Does the punishment you dished out match the supposed offense against you?
Were you really drunk?
Are you a paranoid schizophrenic?
Do you have a mood disorder?
Why do you hate females?
What should I do to you so I can survive?
..........................
The next time I "shoot my mouth off," I will tell the whole story.
That "X" lost his job for many reasons. Not only did he not properly cook food, he removed his hat and company shirt, and worked in the kitchen wearing a sleeveless, white A-teeshirt, (All against company policy).
He was observed by co-workers getting drunk at work.
He was accused of touching 2 co-workers!
Is he a sex offender?
Who would want someone like this to be in charge of your kids?
Who needs all this crap after having a day from hell at work? I do not!
Any next time I will be recording...
I need to get to work and home again tomorrow.
Still processing...
